Few things seem as wholesome or, as all-American, as a nice hot dog. However, fresh on the heels of lawsuits that claim hot dogs are carcinogenic — http://articles.latimes.com/2009/jul/23/business/fi-hot-dog23 — comes a new assault to this beloved American icon. According to The American Academy of Pediatrics, hot dogs are very dangerous and their shape may need to be changed. In a just released policy statement on the Prevention of Choking Among Children (PDF), the Academy warned that, due to their “cylindrical, airway sized, and compressible” nature, hot dogs are one of (along with grapes) the foods on which little Billy is most likely to choke and die. To deal with this “problem”, since the choking warnings labels on many hot dog packages and common sense are apparently insufficient, the Academy recommends that the hot dog and other similarly shaped meat products, be redesigned. So instead of that perfect cylinder shaped dog that fits so perfectly in Billy’s bun, you could have a starfish shaped hot dog…or even a dog that resembles an octopus. Just imagine — the possibilities for redesign (and lawsuits) are endless.
If you have any questions about this post, please contact Bob Cosgrove at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Special thanks to Sheila Osei for her contributions to this post.